Unplanned pregnancy I don’t know what to do.

Shocked. Scared. Panicked. Confused. Embarrassed. Alone. Lonely… these are just some of the emotions you may be going through now if you think you could be pregnant.

Whether you are facing an unplanned pregnancy with the help and support of people around you, or whether you are facing it on your own, the information in this directory should help to make things a bit clearer on your options and the support available to help you choose. No matter what happens – only YOU can decide on what to do because you are the person it will affect the most.

Looking at your options and reaching a decision may not be easy because there are different things to weigh up – what’s the best thing to do now, and what’s the best thing to do in future? It is really important to give yourself plenty of time to think and if you are with the father you may want to talk it through with him too.

First of All

You need to find out if you really are pregnant. If your period is late and you think you may be pregnant, have a pregnancy test as soon as possible.

Pregnancy Tests

These can be bought from chemists, supermarkets and other high street shops but you can get them free from your GP, Community Sexual Health Clinics, The Teenage Parent & Sexual Health Team, some young people’s clinics and the GUM clinic. You may also be able to get them from School Health Nurses and the Brook Advisory Centre but it is also worth phoning or asking first so that you don’t waste any time.

If it is confirmed that you ARE pregnant, you have three choices;

1. That you will continue with the pregnancy and keep the baby.
2. That you will seek an abortion / termination to end the pregnancy.
3. That you will continue with the pregnancy and have the baby adopted at birth. Please contact Halton Borough Council on 0151 424 2061 and ask for the Adoption & Fostering Department.

If your pregnancy test is negative you will need another test the following week if your period has still not started. If you are NOT pregnant, ask a doctor about a reliable method of contraception to avoid worries in the future. Please see contraception.

I am pregnant, what next?

If you ARE pregnant you need to tell someone as soon as possible so it may be best to talk to your partner, your best friend or your parents or care workers first. If you prefer to talk to someone else there are many people who can help you. Please see ‘local services’ for further information. You may be nervous or worried but no time will be the best time – you just have to be brave and do it.

Reactions may vary. Hopefully, whomever you speak to will try to understand what you’re going through and will support you. It might be upsetting at first so try to prepare yourself for this.

If you are thinking about keeping the baby, ask yourself these questions first…

• Is anybody putting pressure on me to have the baby?
• Who can give me information, help and support?
• How will I feel becoming a mother/father in a few months’ time? Is parenthood a good option for me right now? What does my partner think about us keeping the baby?
• If the baby’s mother/father and my family don’t want to be involved, how will I feel bringing the baby up on my own? How will I feel when the baby grows into a demanding toddler? Will I be able to cope with this?
• What impact will the baby have on my education or training opportunities, my social life and keeping in touch with my friends?
• Can I afford to have a baby at the moment?
• Am I ready to be a responsible parent? Do I know what is expected of me?
• Do I think I will have any regrets later; next month, next year, in five years?

If you have thought things through very carefully and you choose to continue, what happens next?

See your doctor who will make arrangements for the baby’s birth and explain how to take care of your own health while you are pregnant. It is important to go for antenatal care regularly from the start of your pregnancy, for your own health and that of the baby. It’s also important for the partner to be involved as much as possible if you are both happy with this.

If you will have to bring up the baby on your own, Social Services can put you in touch with support and help. Contact Halton Borough Council and ask for Housing / Accommodation 0151 424 2061

If you are still at school please speak to your teachers and discuss how you plan to stay in education. If you are not in education or at college, please speak to Student services at College for guidance. Some colleges even have a crèche facility for you to leave your child in whilst you are studying. See the Teenage Pregnancy Team section for further advice.

Keeping Healthy for You and the Baby

Sexual Health; Having sex and sometimes other sexual activity, means you could be at risk of Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs). Quite often you wouldn’t even realise you has an STI because there may be no signs or symptoms.

Most infections can be treated very easily but some can be serious and harm you or your unborn baby’s health if it’s not treated. You can get tested at the GUM Clinic which is based at Halton General Hospital. Please see STIs for contact details and more information.

Healthy Eating

Eating healthy during your pregnancy will help your baby develop and grow, and will keep you fit and well. You do not need to eat any more than you did before you were pregnant. If however, you feel the need to eat more food, try to eat healthy foods that are low in fat, because this will stop you from putting on too much weight and it may help to lose excess weight once the baby is born.

Alcohol, Smoking and Drugs

See the section on Sex, Drugs and Alcohol for more information to protect you and your baby.

Breastfeeding

Breast milk is the only natural food naturally designed for your baby, because it provides exactly the right amount and type of food for your baby and helps your baby’s development and health. When you are breastfeeding, what you eat is important for you and your baby. Speak to your midwife or health visitor about the things you should eat or avoid.

Breastfeeding is free and often more convenient and practical than bottle-feeding. If you want to get more information and advice, speak to your midwife.

Here are a few tips to get you started;

• Face your baby towards your breast and move them towards you.
• Touch around the edge of your baby’s mouth with your nipple to encourage them to latch on.
• Wait until your baby’s mouth opens wide and aim your nipple to the roof of their mouth.
• Make sure your baby’s mouth covers the whole nipple, covering some of the dark area around the nipple too.
• Your baby’s mouth should be open and the bottom lip curled back onto its chin.
• As your baby breastfeeds, hold them close.
• If you need to stop them feeding, break the suction by sliding a finger into the corner of the baby’s mouth.

Being a Parent

Things to consider…

• Make sure you are getting all the financial help you are entitled to.
• Deal with any money that you owe as quickly as you can because babies are expensive. Visit the Citizen’s Advice Bureau (CAB) for some advice.
• Avoid getting (further) into debt by saying no credit cards. Talk to services such as Connexions, Sure Start, CAB or Job Centre Plus for advice.
• Make sure you are living in suitable accommodation for you and your child.
• Be sensible with your money – try to make it stretch as much as you can by buying things that you really need rather than things that you want! Try to save a little bit of money and treat yourself later on. Keep a record of the money you spend so you know where you’re up to.
• Budget. A budget is when you write down how much money you can spend each week and how you are going to spend it.
• Get help. There are so many people out there who want to help you and make life as easy as possible, so look through this directory to find the people or services you want and if you can’t find them all – look through the yellow pages or call Halton Borough Council; 0151 4242061

Health Visitor

Health visitors are nurses who come from a variety of backgrounds who have all undergone additional training. Health visitors are employed to promote individual health and well being.

Their main work is with families and young children but they can also offer advice on all sorts of problems or issues.

Health visitors are not just there for the baby’s health and development but there are to support the parents or carers. They will offer support to mums and families if a mum has postnatal depression.
For some help and support regarding Postnatal Depression, speak to your Health Visitor or GP.

Midwife

Midwives specialise in maternity care. This means that they will help with support and care during your pregnancy, birth and afterwards when the baby has been born. They work closely with other health professionals to ensure the best care is received for your needs. You can access midwives directly though Community Sexual Health Clinics such as the HCRC in Widnes, or through referral by other agencies. Please see the Community Sexual Health Services section.

“Do I want to continue with the pregnancy or do I want to end it?”

If you are thinking about ending the pregnancy this is called a termination (or abortion).

Deciding whether or not to continue with the pregnancy is a big responsibility. If you’re faced with this decision, it’s normal to feel many emotions at once, such as

• Anxiety
• Feeling nervous
• Worried
• Scared
• Angry
• Guilty

Many women who discover they’re pregnant examine their situation, (look at their life and see if they are prepared to make all the changes needed to become a parent), and many people know immediately if they want to have a termination. If they do choose a termination, they continue to feel right about their decision as well as relieved once the pregnancy is over.

Other women thinking about having a termination have different feelings, making the decision difficult and even painful. This is often the case when the woman’s boyfriend, family or friends don’t support her decision for personal or religious reasons, or when she herself has personal or religious beliefs that don’t support it. When the pregnancy is over, these women can experience feelings of guilt, sadness or even depression over a long period.

What can we do for you?

Halton and St Helens have a new referral pathway which means that, if you decide to have a termination you no longer need to book an appointment with your GP or local Community Sexual Health Clinic – all you have to do is call Bpas yourself on 08457 30 40 30 and the staff will book an appointment for you that is suitable for you.

You now have the choice of where you will receive your care and this will be discussed with you when you call.

Click here to download the Termination Pathway PDF

What is an abortion / termination?

Having a termination means ending your pregnancy. It needs to be done as soon as possible once you have made the decision to end your pregnancy. This is because the risks to your health from the termination procedure increase as the pregnancy develops.

Termination of pregnancy can be done by a non-surgical procedure up to 9 weeks if you wish, i.e. using drugs. This may involve 2 visits to the clinic in Liverpool.

A surgical procedure can be performed at any time up to the legal limit of abortion. There is only one trip to Liverpool required, and you are usually able to choose whether you want to be asleep or awake for the procedure. However if the pregnancy has progressed beyond 12 – 14 weeks at the time of surgery, it is likely that you will have to travel much further than Liverpool to have the procedure done because it will have to be performed by a specialist.

Thinking about having a termination?

If you are thinking about having a termination, ask yourself these six questions;

1. Is anybody putting pressure on me to have a termination?
2. Who can give me information, help and support?
3. If you are thinking about requesting a termination, ask yourself is this really the best choice for me or am I trying to run away from the problem?
4. Does termination fit in with my personal beliefs, religion and culture?
5. What are my partner’s views on termination?
6. Do I think I will have any regrets later; next month, next year, in five years?

What should I do next?

If you decide to have a termination, you need to arrange it as soon as possible.

Call Bpas on 08457 30 40 30 any time between 9am and 9pm.

If you would like to talk someone confidentiality, and if you are under 18yrs, you could contact the Teenage Pregnancy Counselling Service in Halton… they will listen to you and help you reach a decision. Call the Kings Cross Project on 0151 420 4905.

A termination can be carried out as soon as a woman knows she is pregnant. Termination up to about 12 weeks of pregnancy is a relatively simple and safe procedure and most will take place during this time. Before 12 weeks it’s almost always quicker and less painful (some women only feel a little uncomfortable and no pain at all).

The actual operation only lasts a few minutes and it’s natural to have a period and some stomach cramps immediately afterwards. The staff at the clinic will look after you and tell what to do and what to expect.

After 12 weeks and up to 24 weeks it can become more complicated and doctors may be less willing to go ahead with the termination during this time. Only in exceptional circumstances may a termination be carried out after 24 weeks.

Although U16 year olds may be encouraged to involve parents (for support and to help you through this difficult time), a girl under 16 may give her own consent for an abortion – if she can show that she understands what is involved. However, many doctors insist on a parent or guardian accompanying a girl under 16. At any age it may be helpful to confide in someone you trust to support you through it.

If I have a termination, can I get pregnant again?

There should be no problem getting pregnant again. Termination is one of the safest medical procedures in the world. Only in rare cases do complications lead to infertility, (not being able to get pregnant).

If you would like to wait before you get pregnant why don’t you have a look at the contraception page to learn more about how to protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy, and the STI page to learn more about how to avoid those nasty sexually transmitted infections that nobody wants to share!

What about him?

The guy who got you pregnant may be affected as much as you are so it might be a good idea to involve him in all of your decisions and you can talk everything through together to make things a little easier. Guys are usually hit by strong emotions when they hear their girlfriend or someone they had sex with is pregnant. They may feel many things such as sad, angry, or they may be really happy. Obviously it’s a woman’s choice in the end but there is no reason why the guy can’t go with you to the doctors and the clinic. Even if he’s not with you anymore, have a think about whether you want him to know or not because the father could really help you and you could share your feelings with each other.

Where should I go if I want a termination?

You can speak to staff at Community Sexual Health Clinics but your treatment and care will be arranged via Bpas. Please call Bpas on 08457 30 40 30

If you want to go to a private clinic then that’s ok – have a look in the Yellow Pages for some phone numbers. Be prepared to pay up to £300 (although that’s only an approximate cost – ask for exact details when you call).

You could also go to a Young Person’s Clinic for pregnancy testing, counselling, advice or help, or Community Sexual Health Clinics.

Facts

• 1 in 4 women will have a termination by the time she is 40.
• Most terminations are carried out early in the pregnancy.
• After 12 to 14 weeks it can be a more difficult procedure.
• After 24 weeks it’s illegal.
• The number of weeks pregnant you are starts from the first day of your last period.

Community Sexual Health Clinics 0845 155 0156

What is Adoption?

It is providing a child with new legal parents.

If you are thinking about adoption ask yourself these six questions.

1. Is anyone putting pressure on me to have the baby adopted?
2. Who can give me information, help and support?
3. How will I feel going through the pregnancy and childbirth, and then giving the baby up for adoption?
4. Is the adoption really best for me?
5. What are my partner’s views on adoption?
6. Do I think I will have any regrets later: next month, next year, in five years?

If I choose To Have the baby Adopted… What Happens Next?

First of all, it would be a good idea to have someone you can talk to, a friend or your parents, partner or anyone else you trust, because this is a huge decision.

If you decide to opt for adoption, you will need to arrange antenatal care as soon as possible, for your own health and for the health of the baby. Visit your local Community Sexual Health Clinic or midwife for advice.

If your baby is adopted, then the adoption parents legally become the parents of the child. You cannot change your mind and have the child back later.

Social services can give you advice on benefits and other help or support you may need during your pregnancy. They can also put you in touch with the adoption agency. Contact Halton Borough Council ‘Adoption & Fostering Services’ for advice 0151 4242061.

If you have strong feelings about the sort of family you would like to adopt your child, discuss these with the adoption agency. Wherever possible, they will try to meet your wishes.

If you want to, you can involve the father, but you don’t have to tell anyone who the father is, if you don’t want to.

If you decide, after all, to keep the baby once it has been born, there will be no pressure on you to give it up for adoption.

The adoption becomes legal, (which means you can’t change your mind) once the child has been with its adoptive parents for a while and the adoption has been agreed in court. You will be asked to sign a document agreeing to the adoption officially. This can be as soon as a few weeks after the birth, or later if you need more time to decide.

Young people who have been adopted have the right to apply for access to their original birth records when they reach 18 years old which means they are able to find out who their birth parents are. To do this they must apply to the Registrar General who keeps a confidential record of adoptions and birth details.

Counselling aims to provide adopted people with basic information about their adoption. It helps them to understand some of the possible effects of enquiring after, and tracing their birth family.

Contact

• Halton Borough Council (ask for the adoption service): 01928 704360
• British Agency for Adoption & Fostering: 0207 4212600
• Talk Adoption – freephone: 0808 8081234