Includes premature (early) ejaculation, retarded ejaculation (not being able to ejaculate) and impotence, as well as other problems.
Impotence means ‘lack of power’. It is being unable to have or keep an erection for the duration of vaginal sex.
- It’s a common and distressing problem affecting 10-30% of men on a regular basis.
- Sometimes impotence is caused by mental health problems or it can be physical such as a medical condition, the side-effects of prescribed drugs, stress or tiredness.
- There is lots of help out there for men suffering from these problems. If you are worried speak to your doctor and they will refer you to a local service in Halton. Most men sort the problem out if they seek help.
Psychological problems account for 60 per cent of cases of impotence. Counselling and psychotherapy are helpful and often result in dramatic improvement.
Psychological problems are usually based on fear, guilt or feelings of inadequacy. The more a man worries about not getting an erection, the more the erection is likely to fail. Relaxation training and professional psychosexual counselling are vital.
A caring and sympathetic partner is important. He or she is an invaluable support during the investigation and treatment of the partner’s impotence. A partner who mocks or ridicules (or even feels overly sorry for) a man’s performance is making the problem worse and may even have contributed to it in the first place.
Premature Ejaculation
Premature ejaculation is the most common male sexual dysfunction. There are three different ways of defining it:
- If the man comes before he wants to or before his partner wants him to
- If ejaculation occurs before the penis penetrates the vagina
- If the man cannot stop himself ejaculating for at least one minute after penetrating his partner.
Most men experience premature ejaculation several times during their lives most commonly when losing their virginity. It also occurs in over 50% of males when making love to a new partner for the first time. Premature ejaculation is particularly common among teenagers and tends to become less of a problem for men in their twenties and thirties and beyond.
If a man can stop ejaculating for anything over one minute after penetration, this is normal. It may not sound very long, but our primitive male ancestors were originally designed to thrust only five or six times before reaching orgasm!
Premature ejaculation is usually due to anxiety especially if a new partner is involved. This often results in eagerness and over-excitement. The other main cause is anxiety about performance whether you will be ‘good enough’ for your partner or will fail to satisfy. No man wants to feel his performance is not up to scratch.
Other causes of premature ejaculation are the man feeling that his partner is not really interested in sex, or if either partner has difficulty in showing or responding to affection.
Sometimes the opposite problem of retarded ejaculation occurs especially if the male is trying to postpone his orgasm to make sure his partner is satisfied.
The easiest way to make premature ejaculation less of a problem is to bring your partner to the point of orgasm during foreplay. Then, when your partner is about to come, penetration can occur or you can wait until after your partner’s orgasm before entering. There are eight other techniques that help to overcome premature ejaculation – you can talk this through when you see a specialist.
Retarded Ejaculation
Retarded ejaculation is the inability of a man to ejaculate, despite having prolonged intercourse, adequate stimulation, and an intense desire to do so. This is an occasional occurrence in most men, especially when tired, but some males have never achieved ejaculation during sexual intercourse. Most affected men are able to ejaculate during masturbation.
Medical conditions such as diabetes, an enlarged prostate gland, previous prostate operation or certain drugs (e.g. water tablets, tricyclic antidepressants, treatment for high blood pressure) are sometimes at fault.
The commonest cause of ejaculatory failure, however, are psychological inhibitions such as in the case of:
- Newlyweds sleeping next door to their parents
- Discovering a partner is unfaithful
- A recent condom break when pregnancy would have been disastrous
- Having recently been interrupted during sex, such as by your children.
Make sure your surroundings are compatible with unstressful sex that is, quiet, with no risk of interruption or being overheard, warm and comfortable. If problems persist you can be referred for psychotherapy, which will involve a structured program with a specialist. Always go to your GP first and they will refer you.
Mens Health